6.25.2010

Life Lesson #268

Say it isn't so Grandma!!

"You Might As Well Buy Yourself The Rope"
Grandma's words of wisdom on marriage

Lesson put to practice: Currently there are no members
of my maternal side of the family that are married. 
Just a bunch of widows, divorcees, bachelors,
and spinsters. 

Moving Forward: It might be wise to start saving a
large amount of money for all the time in therapy
that will likely result from this issue. 



Don't Make Him Cry

I thought littering was so 1970s. Which is why I was shocked to see 2 girls in a convertible toss out their fast food on the side of road. This is absolutely DISGUSTING, RUDE, LAZY, SELFISH... among many other things. Let's not forget litter hurts all of us.

Watch:
Crying Indian

6.22.2010

Life Lesson #302


"Never Get High On Your Own Supply"
Very wise words from Elvira in Scarface.

Lesson put to practice: Employers seem to frown 
when you "sample" the product you're supposed to be 
providing to their clients, especially
while you're on the clock. 

Moving Forward: No matter how tempting it may
be DON'T DO IT! Lead others astray to give
you a good portion of their own' supply'.
Polish up on seduction techniques.
See Robert Greene. 

Thank You Hot Dog Man @ Granville and Pender

You are my inspiration. Meeting you made me realize that I meet some very peculiar people. I'm hoping writing these stories will help put these encounters into perspective and perhaps draw a deeper meaning from them. I am slightly insulted after having met you that day you offered me a job. In my most untamed dreams I would have never imagined that after 4 years of University & 1 bachelor's degree later that my 1st and most persistent job offer would be expanding your hot dog cart. I am still stumped by the fact that after telling you that selling hot dogs on the street has nothing to do with my Media & Communications degree that you went on to insist that in fact it has everything to do with my degree and that I could get excellent job experience. While I'm sure carpooling with you from  Langley everyday pulling 2 hot dog carts behind your truck downtown would have provided many more interesting tales. The only thing meeting you did was cement the fact that I have no desire to sell hot dogs to tourists and drunks, even if they are 100% Natural Buffalo Meat. If you every feel your dancing buffalo logo no longer meets industry standards or you finally have the desire to give your cart a company name feel free to contact me with a business proposal.